i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
