My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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