and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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