I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have fence marks all over my body
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
