sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
