i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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