When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
