come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
did i just pee glitter
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
