Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
