standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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