dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
