She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
