remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
