did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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