I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He shit in the fireplace
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
