whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
