i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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