just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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