So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
