stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
