sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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