He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We got so high we made milksteak
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
