he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
