She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
