paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
