I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
