weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
