it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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