We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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