His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
