And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
