Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
