I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
