And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
