Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
