Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
