I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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