your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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