I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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