Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
