How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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