when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
