I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish my penis had an off switch
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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