you turned your livingroom into a bong?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
