Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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