Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
