no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
that may or may not have been my penis.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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