we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
3 2 1 whiskey
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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