can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
