Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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