So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
