So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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