Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
