Screwed.edu
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
