Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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