All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
