Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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